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Let the darkness swallow me whole
defenseless



I'm alone .
Coz I've learnt not to trust
not to believe .
Letting the darkness swallow me.
its better than holding on
and hurting myself


my days. without you

October 2007
November 2007
December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
August 2010

Desires.

  • The darkness
  • My heart to heal
  • to forget you

    • Loves.♥

  • nothing,my heart no longer has the capability to love afer you are gone

    • thoughts

    I saw you smile
    and my mind could not erase
    the beauty of your face

    closing up the heart


    backstage work

    Do.Not.Remove
    You'll pay if they are gone

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    Friday, November 23, 2007

    haiz...missing sum1 tt i reallie n truly lurve...ive known hym since march 3rd if im nt wrong..hes mai bez fwen or shud i sae hes mai scandal...haha...2dae i went 2 sch 4 de open hse...arina woke mie up early in de morn at 8am...asking mie whether i cud go out anot..i asked whr she wana go..den she asked mie bck..she sae 1 go sch open hse..i was lyk wth?!?!plz la dun bring mie 2 sch during de hols..i had enuf...den she sae 1 collect nametag...sumore go thr wear home clothes...duno whether cn anot..arina sae cn2...den rch sch..she sae she scared 2 go in coz of our clothes...deng2 gal...den gt prefect at thr standing..den she asked us whether we were cmin 4 de open hse...i juz saed yarh..den she asked 2 cme in..den go in..she den asked whether we 1 2 hav de prefects 2 walked wit us or 1 2 walk alone..den we sae we walk alone lar...den we go canteen...go bookshop...collect our nametag...bt it wasnt thr....haiyo!!!den heck care dun care..we walked 2 lot 1...den drink a small coke at mac...den go cck int...ride 172 go jrng point...den walk2...den go de library..den sit2...go ride 157...go jyc..den chck haben open..coz de ppl go lunch...den ride 187 go bpp...den ate ice cream...mmmmm...yummy!!!den went hme...tired coz walk2 thr walk2 here...bt bored coz din reallie did much tings...den went hme...chnge clothes...den i laid down on bed...den tok on de fone wit khairul....hes de one tt i saed im missing coz he went bck kampung 2 celebrate his sis bdae at thr..on sundae den he cme bck...den at 5pm i went down...still toking 2 hym on de fone...den he saed ltr he called mie bck..hes kinda bz...den i sit kt pondok...den mummy walk2...den sit thr alone kana mosquito bite...so manie...omg??ish ma blood tt swit...haha....den i tried calling hym agen...aft awhile...coz i scared ltr he go he 4get 2 cal mie...den i msg his sis asking her 2 tell her bro,khairul,nt 2 4get 2 cal mie..den she sae shes out...khairul at hme..den i sae k lar..nemind...tc kaez...njoy urself..n hapi bdae in adv...den at arnd 6pm...went hme..den i lie down on de bed..den cal khai...den his bro sae his bz...ngh angkt2 bende...den i sae ok nemind..bye...den i fell asleep...den i woke up at 9+pm..den i received msg frm his adk saying tt "kak,abg khairul ask u 2 col tis num ******** tau.col ya.nw!
    n another msg frm tt num tt his sis gib saying "hie...u nie i khairul..cpt lau nk dgr suare i..kol dis num.."
    den i was lyk...no!!!!!!!!!!!!!y did i fell asleep...i shudnt...den nw im missing hym lyk hell den i msg his sis num saying tt-->"Adk tell abg khairul akak ckp sry..bab tk cal tad..kak fara tad ngntk ar..den kak fara tertdo"
    n another msg frm mie-->"Okeh..juz wana sae tke gd care op urself ,hapi bdae in adv n im gona mis u ol..bt de moz im gona miz ish abg khairul..hee..tell hym 2 tc of hymself n oso tell hym tt i luv hym so much!!muackz!!bubye!!"
    den nw i feel kinda sleepy...bt i cnt slip coz im confused wit mieself...do i 1 2 leave my x(s) n move on wit my lyfe or wat...anw..even though i did aniting wit ani1...i still lurp khairul de moz..n he noes evriting abt mie...thrs nvr a tings i hide frm hym...he understands mie alot...i reallie app it lotz...nw holding my tears coz i reallie miz hym!!!!!it wud b lyk 3 daez i wun gt 2 tok wit hym..thrs nvr a dae we din tok on de fone at ol..long tym i din mit hym...tts y ive been missing hym...omg....cnt blive it tt i suddenly received a msg frm hym...den msg2 wit hym...den he asked mie 2 cal hym...yay!!!!dpt sei!!!!!!i was lyk damn hapi wen he msg!!!k nw i tokin on de fone wit hym...okeh..gtg..bubye


    Heading into the darkness 10:12 PM